Hug This

The emphasis on the man-made origins of global warming/climate change and the corollary insistence upon the greening of human behavior masks a deeper fear. As long as climate change remains our creation, it rests within our power to undo it. Even if we fail to do so, through a collective species shortcoming, we become the authors of our own group suicide, and as such remain the masters of our own universe.

Hidden behind this narrative of climate change in which human beings are cast in the starring role, is the fear that climate change is occurring without any human input whatsoever. It is one thing if, like Thelma & Louise, I choose to steer my car off a cliff; it is another thing altogether if an earthquake rips open the interstate beneath my Toyota Prius and I am gobbled up by the earth.

The prevailing human-centered narrative of climate change, with its clarion call for a green revolution, is nothing other than a re-boot of enlightenment’s central project, the human domination of nature. The vision of a green revolution that brings humanity and nature into harmony, restoring conditions that reliable sources confirm were enjoyed by American Indians before the arrival of El Gordo (aka The White Man), is the obscuring fantasy that allows the real project of dominating nature to continue right beneath our noses while we post pictures of the family trip to Yosemite on Facebook. If you doubt the depth of the need for climate change, and by extension nature itself, to be ours, just imagine yourself at a cocktail party engaged in a discussion with someone who doesn’t “believe in global warming”. If we are honest about the emotions this (in)human being would provoke, we might need to revive the word heretic.

So what do we do if every last one of us composts and it is still sixty degrees and sunny on Christmas Day in Wasilla, Alaska? We carry on with the really existing debate between the greens and the oil barons: how best to dominate nature? It is only by accepting that this is the debate to be won that the greens can cast off their tattered coat of tree hugging flakiness and attain to their true status as benevolent dominatrix. Clad in leather garb appropriate to the ferocity of this debate, the greens might actually win. And the stakes of this debate, given that homo sapiens (probably) are responsible for climate change, could not be higher. For if Bobby Knight was interviewed by Connie Chung again, this time around he might reformulate his infamous remarks thusly: "If global warming is inevitable, just sit back and enjoy it." There is no more dangerous enemy than he who thinks he is being funny when he is actually being creepy. I'll take a session with my friendly local dominatrix, thank you very much.